Well, couple of weeks ago my daughter asked me join her on a nature hike to see her favorite spot in the whole wide world. Our house backs to a lot of land that is owned by BG&E. The back yard slopes down and there is a small creek at the bottom. It gently slopes back up into a valley that ends far away at the edge of I-95. All in all, quiet pretty.
Well, my daughters and one of her friends have been disappearing into this vast expanse of land :). They usually avoid playing outdoors, but they love going to the creek. They usually take a couple of my tomato stakes, and set out on this hike. It is not possible to climb down from our side of the back yard, so you have to sort of go into the neighbor's back yard, two neighbors away, to find a slope gentle enough to be climbed down. A lot of this area is under 'forest preservation' protection and remains mainly untouched, with patches of waist high grass and other vegetation.
She kept on walking, so I had to follow her. I had the puppies with me and they sort of disappeared in the grass. On the other side of the grass was the creek again. It looked like the water had recently receded and the vegetation on either side of the creek was covered in yucky, stinky mud. My daughter located this little patch of sand and dirt and proudly parked her behind there saying "this is the most beautiful place in the world, this is my spot".
Both my husband and I could only find whatever was wrong with this place - it is too far away from our house, so we won't be able to hear them. There could be snakes hiding in the overgrown grass. Since we saw a huge herd of deer on the other side of the creek, there could be deer ticks every where. Lyme diesease??In short, we forbade our daughters from coming to this spot from now on. We all walked back silently and sadly home. I was feeling really bad - I am always forcing my daughters to be outdoors and enjoy nature - and just when they have finally found a place and an outdoor activity they like, we are forbidding them??
When we got home my older daughter found a tick on her arm and she started crying - "see???" my husband said.
This was about 5-6 weeks ago - kids haven't gone back there since then - they haven't even asked.
Was I wrong?
Did I over react?
Did I ruin something beautiful?
I am asking all these questions to myself as I am reading 'Last Child in the Woods'.Are us 'paranoid parents' really causing nature deficit disorder?
Comments
And I think it's important for kids to have a place of their own and to have a special place that is just for themselves where they can play and daydream. OTOH, you are a parent and you want your child to be safe. And if your child gets Lyme disease, you are the one who will have to take care of her.
Maybe you can encourage her and her friend to find another beautiful spot a little closer to the house that wouldn't be so tick-infested?
not a parent yet, but can very well understand ur feelings. as well as the kids'.
the key i feel is to balance. i basically was an indoors child, never ventured outdoors except when i wanted to be really really alone. then, i would take my bicycle and go to nearby fields where there were green crops, running tubes, lush orchards and all. but even then i was close to any help i might need. in ur case its a bit difficult to decide.
children do need their own space, infact they should be encouraged to develop their own but not risking their security.
hmmm. what i wud suggest is you going out on a couple of nature walks/trails with them. let them explore and choose a spot in ur company. that ways, u'll be assured of their safety and they'll be happy to have found a world of their own.
and yes, the couplet u asked for has been explained in the comments section on delhidreams. hope u'll come 'wandering' again :)
Green Bean - if I hadn't read the book, I wouldn't even be questioning myself.
arduous : yes - I am thinking it is about time my husband built them a tree house or something.
Adi: thanks for stopping by - yes we do go out on nature walks together - I will try to find them another spot to call their own.
BTW - to answer your question, Michele is a blogger that opens her blog to sometimg called 'the meet and greet' at weekends where bloggers can meet and visit other bloggers. You'll find here at:
http://www.micheleagnew.com/
Though she is on sabbatical right now.
Let them have some freedom and encourage them to make good decisions. Even having parents nearby doesn't even protect kids from the biggest dangers - our best approach to "safety" is to teach our kids to be smart about what they're up to.
Teach them about Lyme disease and how dangerous it is and why they should avoid ticks. Have them do tick checks periodically during their adventures and afterwards. Encourage them to avoid the tall grass - find a different way around. Give them some good creek-walking boots so they don't have to avoid the mud. Give them a whistle to wear whenever they are in the woods - teach them how many times to blow for an emergency and make sure they don't "cry wolf."
I guess my point is that there are ways to mitigate the "risks" and give your kids the important message that they are competent people who, when given sufficient information and responsibility, can learn to make good decisions for themselves (which is even better than you being there to "protect" them).
The most dangerous situation we put kids in is in the car! But we do that every day. Somehow, we've convinced ourselves that riding in cars isn't risky - but it's a lot more likely that we'll get hurt or killed on the highway than it is in a field of tall grass.
I need to read the book you mention. But first I think I'll go tromp through the woods and look for toads and salamanders!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and raising the conversation topic. I enjoyed participating.
em: thanks for stopping by. I agree it is more dangerous to drive and there are other situations far more dangerous. I appreciate your comments and will have to rethink the whole thing.
debbie: thanks for sharing your experience. One of my coworker's wife has lyme disease and I have seen how it has altered their lives. Somedays, just getting out of bed is a struggle for her. Anyways, I do understand that just because you get a tick doesn't mean that you will get lyme disease. Thanks for stopping by.
I also have one @ xanga
it is http://www.com/freye
Sadly I can't access @ the library?
But can @ my daughters.......
There are more pics and holiday memories on it than this one....
But would LOVE you to view
Bless your day
Freye(sunny)
As far as ticks go get them out within 24 hours and there is no danger what so ever and its not the tiny ones that are carriers its the fat ones which have had two feeding/molting cycles. (We live in Lymes desiese central station) My middle daughter is a tick magnet and we have had a few scares because she is also an illness magnet. I just check them every night at pajama time.